I Can't Let You Go
by skipoverthemiddle
Summary: I sat up straight, shaking away what was left of the dead sleep I was in. This was the fourth time. The fourth time! God, why can’t I get him out of my head? Lit.
1. Chapter 1: Get out of my head!

Hey guys I'm writing a new story! I know I haven't updated my 2 other stories in like forever but my computer broke and now I'm on my friends laptop so im just going to wait till I get my computer back to update those and this just kinda came to me. Also im writing this from memory im not watching it so I don't know if im getting the lines write im just gonna make some of them up.

**Chapter 1-Get out of my head!**

_I'm sitting on the bridge. The dance marathon is probably still going on but I have more important things to worry about. I hear Jess' footsteps but I don't look up. _

"_Dean's a jerk." He says. "Breaking up with you like that in front of everybody? The guy's a total jerk."_

_I look up. "No he's not. He was right. Everything he said about me and you, me messing with his head. It was all true." I look up. "Well, wasn't he? Fine he was right about me then, now go away." Jess just stood there._

"_He was right…about everything."_

_I stare at him, trying to keep a smile off my face. "So...what now?"_

"_Are you definitely broken up with Dean?"_

"_Yeah, I'm definitely broken up with Dean."_

"_Okay. I gotta go take care of something then."_

_Then he turns around and walks off the bridge._

_------------_

_I walk up to where Jess is leaning against a wall. He has a cigarette in his hand and seems to be looking for a lighter._

"_You going to smoke that?" He looks up._

"_Depends."_

"_On what?"_

"_On what's going to happen."_

"_When?"_

_He takes a step closer to me and intertwines our fingers._

"_Hi."_

"_Hi."_

_He kisses me and I think to myself _God, I can't believe I denied myself of this! What was I thinking?

------------

_Mom and I are just coming back from a disastrous thanksgiving dinner at my grandparent's house and are on our way to Luke's when we see Luke and Jess coming out of the diner. Jess is saying something to Luke about trashcans or something. We walk up to them and mom and Luke start talking about something or other I wasn't really paying much attention. My eyes were following Jess and as my mom goes into the diner with Luke I go after Jess._

"_I still think he should get more trash-" _

_I cut him off with a kiss. When we pull apart he looks at me._

"_Hi."_

"_Hi."_

"_Later." I say and head into the diner._

_------------_

_Jess and I are walking through town kissing. Kissing Jess is so much better than kissing dean. For one thing, my neck doesn't afterwards as it did whenever I kissed the 6 foot something dean, and for another thing, it feels so right when I'm kissing Jess, like I've wasted so many perfectly good kisses on Dean when I could have been kissing Jess. Not to mention Jess is a WAY better kisser than Dean was._

_Anyway, I started talking about the winter carnival that was coming up. Jess didn't seem very interested in the subject, but whatever. He never really was the type of guy that would participate in town functions (unless he was trying to woe me) so it didn't really bother me. It kind of flattered me actually. But I still wanted him to go with me. _

_So I asked him._

_And I continued talking about it until he started to complain that I was talking through his best work. Well, you couldn't blame a girl for trying. We continued to kiss while we headed to Luke's, barely missing a car as we went._

_------------_

_Jess and I were lying on the couch in the apartment above the diner, kissing, when all of a sudden the door swung open. I was expecting it to be Luke since he comes up every ten minutes to make sure we aren't doing anything the town would frown upon. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw my mom gaping at us from the other side of the door._

"_Mom!"_

_I quickly shoved Jess off me._

"_What are you doing up here?"_

"_I'm looking for a book."_

"_What one?" Jess asked._

"_Um, it's about a play, Levittown?"_

"_Oh..." Jess reaches over me and grabs a book from the side table_

"_Here you go."_

"_Thanks...we really should come up with that signal!"_

"_Yeah..."_

_And she left. I looked over at Jess. God that was awkward._

I sat up straight, shaking away what was left of the dead sleep I was in. This was the fourth time. _The fourth time!_ God, why can't I get him out of my head? I looked to my left and saw Logan, my boyfriend, lying there in a peaceful sleep. He had no idea that I have been dreaming about my ex-boyfriend.

I got out of bed and got dressed. Then I walked out of my room, then out of my dorm, then out of my dorm building. Then I got into my car and put my keys, which I had taken off the coffee table in my dorm, into the ignition. I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was I had to get away.

And fast!

A/n this just kinda came to me so it doesn't really matter if its bad cause its just something random but please review. Also like I said the memories in the dream were from my memory of the episode they were in so its not precise…especially in the swan song one I left out some stuff I thing but o well. Review please! And my cousin candy update will be up in a week at the most!


	2. Chapter 2: A happy memory

A/N okey dokey I fixed last chapter. The one memory had stuff left out that I put in there so I fixed it. Sorry its taken me so long to update I had to update my 2 other fics. Well last chapter I totally didn't end it the way I wanted to. I wanted to put more in. I cant do that now tho cause I don't remember what I wanted to put in. well thanks everyone for ur reviews last chapter. Heres chapter 2.

Chapter 2-A Happy Memory 

When I looked up after I took my keys out of the ignition, I saw that I was in New York. I don't remember taking any roads that would lead me here, but then again I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing. I stayed in the car for about a minute, debating whether I should get out or drive back to my dorm. I was in my pajamas, but they could pass as sweats. Not that many people wear sweats in New York. I haven't really paid much attention to what other people wear in this city, but I'm pretty sure they don't wear sweats. I don't care if I look like an idiot, though. I want to relive a happy memory. I grabbed a book from the backseat and got out of the car. I'm heading towards Washington Square Park. I'm going to sit on the same bench he sat on when I came to visit him three years ago. Even if someone is already sitting there. I'll just give them a look at my withering stare.

I didn't get any curious stares at my outfit, thank God. No, I was the one starring. But it wasn't curious. It was shocked. There was someone occupying the bench. But not someone I was about to go up to and tell them to move. It was the person who has been haunting my dreams for God only knows how long. Well I guess this is sort of what I wanted. I mean, I wanted to relive a happy memory, and this is exactly what happened in the memory I wanted to relive.

I didn't know if I should go up to him or not. It's been a year since I've seen him, and we didn't exactly part on good terms. It's not that I didn't want to go with him. I did. Oh God, I did. But I couldn't leave my mom and Stars Hollow and everyone else. If he had asked if we could start over at home, I wouldn't have even hesitated in saying yes. But he didn't. And I've never gotten over him. Yeah, sure, I have Logan. But I think the only reason why I like Logan is because he's the blond, rich version of Jess. The only difference between them is instead of turning off the ability to talk in full sentence when someone else is around, Logan becomes a very good actor and pretends he cares what's going on in your life. That's what I don't like about him. He's a fake. Jess never was. He was always just Jess. That's what I love about him.

Loved! I meant loved. I think. Maybe. No, I meant love. God! I've forgotten about Dean why can't I forget about Jess? It's not fair! I can't have Jess. No, wait. I can have Jess. I'm sure if I told him I wanted him back he'd take me back. But I can't do that to everyone. My mom hated it enough the first time I was with him. If I got back together with him after what he did, I wouldn't be able to come and stay with her during the summer because we'd be in such a big fight. And Luke's his uncle. I have no idea what's going on with their strange relationship. And then there's Logan. I don't want to hurt him. I hate hurting people. Maybe it would just be best if I turned back now.

Woops. I guess while I was thinking this through, I've been walking toward the bench, because suddenly the person I was just about to walk away from is right in front of my face. I can still walk away. His back is still facing me so I guess I didn't make any noise getting here. I slowly turned around, but not after a looked to see what he was reading. It wasn't anything I recognized. I started walking as fast as I could making as little noise as I could. And I kept walking towards my car. But then I stopped. I was in front of a record store. I didn't even see it on my way to the park. Maybe I'll just take a quick peak. I could buy my mom another GooGoo dolls album signed by Belinda. To replace the one I left on the bus. Yeah, I'll go in.

No, I won't go in. Someone just grabbed my arm as I was about to step inside. Oh, God, please don't let me get mugged. I turned slowly and my eyes met dark brown. He saw me or heard me, I don't know which one but he definitely knew that I was at the park. He just looked at me, as if trying to figure out if I was real or not. he must have been starring at me for 5 minutes, never letting go of my arm. Finally, the silence is broken.

"Hi." He said. I swallowed, but it wasn't easy.

"Hi."

I can't believe I got caught. Now I'm not going to be able to get my mom a really late graduation present. Life sucks. And to top it off, now Jess had a confused look on his face. He looks _really_ good when he's confused.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" he asked. I sighed.

"I don't know. Can I have my arm back please?" I didn't mean to be so snappy, but he was starting to cut off my circulation. Did I mention that he's really strong? Well, he is.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry." He said, and then looked down. Now I feel bad.

"It's fine." I said, much more kindly this time. He got a look on his face that meant that he was going to drop all signs that he was curious about anything. Thank God.

"So, uh, your going into the record store?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah. I wanted to look at some stuff." I said. Now he had on a look that he always got before he said 'huh'

"Huh." I'm so smart.

"What?" I asked, even though I knew why he said it.

"Nothing. It's just, there are a lot of record stores in New York, and you pick this particular one to 'look at some stuff'?" I sighed again.

"It was the first one I saw." I said. He knew I was lying, but he didn't say anything.

"So, can I help you look at some stuff?" he asked. My stomach did a back flip. Damn stomach.

"Yeah, I'd like that." And we went inside.

We didn't talk. The whole time we were in the record store we didn't talk. I found another copy of the record for my mom. I paid for it, told Jess I had to get back to school, and left.

A/N okay I wasn't going to have them talk in this chapter I was going to have her see him and then walk away but I changed my mind. Its sorta short but o well. I don't know if I like this story but ill continue writing it if a lot of people like it. So please read and review. U don't even have to leave a long review u could just say yes or no-yes for u liked it and no for u didn't. but of course if u did want to leave a long review I wouldn't complain. If I got any reviews that I should answer from last chapter the fanfic website is being gay so ill do that in the next chapter k? Peace outx3

Laura


	3. Chapter 3: Happy belated graduation

A/n im updating this before I update my other 2!y am I doing this? because I no what I'm writing for this. I have no idea wat I gonna write for my other two. Actually, that's not true. I already have the next chapter of losing my grip written. But for some reason I want to write this. I have no idea y. well here is chapter 3…

Chapter 3-Happy Belated Graduation 

"Oh my God! Where did you get this?" My mom asked excitedly. I guess that means she likes it.

"A record store in New York." I didn't mention that it was the same record store I got the other one from. She would have wondered why I was there. She didn't ask why I was in New York, though. I don't know why, but she didn't. Instead, she got out her record player and put the record in. I didn't know that we had a record player, which is kind of weird considering I bought my mom a record for her graduation. It didn't really occur to me that we would need one in order to play the record. I wonder why.

She started dancing. I've never seen anyone dance like my mom dances. She has a very unique dancing style. And not in a bad way. As I sit here watching my mom dance, I think about the only time I ever really danced. It was in my dream. It was when Jess and I first got together. I'm putting a big effort into not crying right now. I can't help but think that if he hadn't left, we'd still be together. We would have worked things out. We would have gotten over the whole party thing. We would have figured out his whole school situation. We would have talked to Luke and gotten him to reconsider his decision to kick Jess out. We would be together right now. And we'd be in love. And my cell phone wouldn't be ringing right now and flashing the word 'Logan' in my face.

I gasped. I had totally forgotten that I left Logan in my dorm in the middle of the night. Mom stopped dancing and looked over at me, but I just looked down and answered my phone.

"Hello?" I really didn't feel like talking to him right now.

"Where the hell did you go, Ace?" he didn't sound very angry, just curious. And a little amused.

"Sorry. My friend Lane called in Stars Hollow. She had a big emergency and needed me to come help her. I didn't have time to leave a note." I lied, avoiding my mother's gaze. I know I shouldn't be lying. Me of all people. The person who always said "yay" to an honest relationship. But I couldn't very well tell him that I went to New York to see my ex-boyfriend. And especially not in front of my mom.

"It's fine. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. The problem has been solved."

"Okay, good. Well, I'm still in your dorm. Paris isn't still isn't here."

"She went somewhere with Doyle for the weekend."

"Oh. There was a guy here looking for you. I don't remember his name. He left in a hurry, though."

My eyes widened. That's probably why he's still at my dorm. He probably thinks the guy is going to come back. Which isn't good because I just know the guy is Jess. It has to be. There's no other guy that would be at my dorm looking for me that I can think of. Except for Marty. But we haven't talked in a while so I think it's safe to say that it's not him. I don't know why Jess would be at my dorm. But I do know that he's going to come back. And when he does, Logan can't be there.

"Oh, really? Well I'm going to head back to Yale now so you can go back to your dorm."

"No, it's okay. I was thinking I could take you out to breakfast." I sighed. He always wanted to go out.

"Actually, Logan, I'm really tired. I just want to crawl into bed." That wasn't a lie. I did want to crawl into bed.

"Okay. I'll see you later then, I guess."

"Okay. Bye." I hang my phone up quickly.

When I look up, my mom is starring at me.

"What?" I ask, even though I know exactly why she's starring at me.

"You left him in the middle of the night?" It sounded so bad when she said it.

"Well, yeah. But it was for a totally good reason." Okay, that's a lie. It was for a horrible reason. But she didn't have to know that.

"Is Lane really that totally good reason?" I gulped. I hate lying to my mom, but sometimes it's necessary.

"Yes. She had a fight with Zach."

"Oh. Everything's fine now?"

"Yeah, everything's fine now. I'm going to head back to Yale. "

"Okay. Love you, Hun."

"Love you too. Bye." I kiss her cheek and walk out the door.

On my way back to Yale, I called Lane. She agreed to tell my mom that she got into a fight with Zach and called me to make her feel better if my mom asked about it. When I get to Yale, I start wondering how Jess knew where my dorm was. I moved from last year. Maybe Luke told him. I reach my dorm room door, and I want to walk away.

There sits Jess, reading a book and smoking a cigarette.

A/n my head is pounding! I cant take Motrin for a month cause I got a flu shot. Well this chapter is kinda short but I have a migrain so this is where its ending. I don't think I like this chapter very much but o well I hope u people do.

**Sarah-**im sorry!well u no now and u like it. I don't know y but you do. Thanks for ur review. Im gonna talk to u before the day is over but happy thanksgiving neway and eat lots of pie and don't burn ur moms slippers! I love u!

**Soph-**thanks for ur review. This takes place in the 5th season. It would be during the internship but im not gonna have her do that. Obviously if she was in her dorm shes still at yale. Yes is was necessary to go into the record store cause I wanted lorelai to get the record. I always thought rory should go back and get her another one.

Everyone else thanks so much for ur reviews and please review this chapter too! Happy thanksgiving everyone!


	4. Chapter 4: I wasn't good enough

Chapter 4-I wasn't good enough 

He looks up when he realizes someone is standing over him. He's reading the same book he was this morning. It looks like he's almost done with it. He puts out his cigarette on the ground, but he doesn't stand up. I don't know what I should say. For some reason, the word 'hi' seems so over-used.

"You just put your cigarette out on Yale property." I have no idea why I decided to say this. Out of all the things to say, I tell him he's littering. Smooth, Rory.

"I'll pick it up later. I promise."

I don't want to go inside. Not yet. So I plop myself down next to Jess. We just sit here against my dorm room door for about six minutes. I finally turn to look at him.

"What are you doing here, Jess?" I ask.

"What were you doing in New York, Rory?" he snaps. He's mad at me. I don't know why, though. Its not like he could prove that I was in New York to see him. And I wasn't really there to see him. I was there to relive a memory of him. Two completely different things if you ask me.

He didn't look at me when he asked me why I was in New York. He hasn't looked at me since I got here. He's just been looking straight. There's nothing to look at straight ahead. Not even a door. It's just a wall. An off-white painted wall. Jess seems to be very interesting in this wall. He's just looking at it, face expressionless. That's what he always used to do when he was mad at me. Stare at walls and not let any emotion appear on his face. He's really good at this.

I stood up and took my keys out of my coat pocket. I had gotten changed in Stars Hollow and grabbed a coat from the closet in the hall. Jess is still sitting against my door staring at the boring wall. I jingle my keys to see if he'd get up. He didn't. I jingled them again, this time in front of face. He still didn't get up. I sighed and grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him up. I guess he hadn't expected me to do that 'cause he sort of jumped and dropped his book. Well at least he's looking at me now. I smile sweetly at him and hold up my keys.

"Wanna come in?"

He glares at me and is about to sit back down but I push him out of the way before he can and unlock my door. I walk in and throw my keys on the stand by the door. The place wasn't as neat as it usually is so I guess Paris still hadn't gotten in. I took my coat off and tossed it onto the couch. I turn around and see that Jess is standing in the doorway. I sigh.

"I invited you in, you know."

He walked in and shut the door behind him. Actually, it was more like slammed. He was really angry. I had no idea why, either. All I did was go to New York. And Washington Square Park. And the record store. And I guess I can kind of see why he's mad. But he really shouldn't be this angry. Maybe there's more than just my going to New York that he's mad about. I don't know. But I do know that he's staring at me with a scowl on his face and I'm feeling really uncomfortable.

"Hi." 'Hi?' Are you freakin' kidding me? You almost made my door come off the hinges and all you have to say is 'hi? "Hi…" I said slowly. I think he's about to say more than 'hi.'

"Are we good now?" he asked me. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What?"

"Our whole 'Hi.' ritual we've got goin on. Are we good on that now?" Oh.

"Uh, sure."

"Good. What the hell is your problem?" I was completely taken aback by this.

"What do you mean?"

"Did I come to your dorm last year?" okay, I so don't want to know where he's going with this.

"Um, yes-"

"Did I open up to you?" This is it. This is the big blowout that I've imagined us having but never actually thought we'd have. This is when we let everything out that we've kept bottled up for the past two years. This is going to be the worst fight of my life. And I'm about to jump into it on an empty stomach. Great.

"Yea-"

"I asked you a question. It wasn't really what I intended on asking you but its what came out and guess what happened. I drove away that night by myself. I was more hurt than I've ever been in my entire life. I didn't know that one person can make me hurt so much but you did. And then you come to New York! You come to New York, and you go to the park. You go to the park, and then you go to the record store. Now, I know I didn't graduate high school, Ror, but it doesn't take a person with a diploma to figure out the connection between those places."

Yeah, I guess he had a right to be that angry. Half of me is thinking, 'good, now we're even.' but the other half of me is thinking, 'oh, God, I hurt him. I didn't mean to do that.' I don't really think anyone, diploma or no diploma, would be able to connect those places. Only Jess and I would be able to connect those places. I think I have a five second attention span. My train of thought changes a lot. I just noticed that. Huh.

I couldn't take it anymore. I needed something to eat. I needed breakfast. It was about 3:30 in the afternoon but I can still get some cereal down in the food court. I grabbed my keys and walked out the door. This time Jess followed me. He slammed the door shut again and picked up his speech where he left off.

"What? Did you just decide you would go to New York and see if I'd be at the park and treat you to a hot dog? 'Cause I'm really anxious to know why you came. I know it had something to do with me. You wouldn't have gone near the park or the record store if it didn't have anything to do with me. Was it to tell me about Richie Rich?" I looked back and raised my eyebrows at him. "Yeah, I met him. Doesn't really seem like your kind of guy if you ask me. I don't think that's why you came, though. I mean, why would I want to know about your new boyfriend? That's the last thing I would want to know."

We reached the food court, and it's a good thing too 'cause Jess was starting to rant. I was about to head over to the cereal when I saw Logan sitting at a table by the door. Damn it. I pretended I didn't see him and went over to the cereal. I grabbed a tray. Then I grabbed a cereal bowl. Then Jess grabbed me. He grabbed my upper arm gently and turned me around to face him.

"Why did you come to New York, Rory?" he wasn't snappy this time. He was desperate. And I wanted to give him an answer. But I didn't have an answer.

"I don't know. Okay, Jess? I don't know. I have no idea why I went to New York. I just went."

"Why'd you come to the park?" I had an answer to that question. I just wasn't giving him the right one.

"I wanted to read on one of the benches but I changed my mind when I got there. There were too many… pigeons."

There was too much Jess. That's the real answer. He knew this so he just nodded.

"Why'd you go to the record store?" Well this one won't seem so much like a lie.

"I wanted to get my mom a googoo dolls record signed by Belinda to replace the other one that I left on the bus." That was definitely more believable. But he didn't believe it. He just nodded again. I could feel Logan's eyes on us. Actually, I could feel everyone's eyes on us. I didn't think we were being that loud, but apparently we were. I glanced at the door and saw Paris standing there like she had just seen a ghost. Guess she recognizes Jess. I look over at Logan. He looks really confused. Its not that hard to get-I'm fighting with my ex-boyfriend. It's pretty simple. But he doesn't get it. I shake my head a little and look back at Jess.

"Why did you say no?" He asked me. It took me a second to realize what he was talking about, but when I did I turned away from him and back to my empty cereal bowl. "No, seriously Rory. Why did you say no?" Why did I say know? Hmm. Gee, I don't know, Jess. Why do you think I said no? I spun around to face him again.

"You left!" I yelled. "You just got on a bus and left. You didn't even leave a note. I mean, you could have at least left me a note. You weren't supposed to leave! We could have work everything out. We could have worked out your school situation and your whole dad thing and the Kyle's be-house thing. We could have figured it all out. We could have fixed it. I wanted to fix it! But you left. Do you have any idea what its been like for the past two years to know that I wasn't a good enough reason for you to stay?" I was close to tears now. I wasn't hungry anymore either. The look on Jess's face when I said that last part was killing me. He looked so guilty. I glanced over at Logan. I think he finally got it. He's standing up now. I hope he doesn't come over here. I don't want him to come over here. I don't want to have to explain what's going on to him right now. I looked back at Jess.

"Y-you've been thinking that?" he asked quietly.

"Well, yea. I mean, its true. Obviously I wasn't worth staying in Stars hollow for." Jess looked totally taken aback by this. Why? I mean, he had to have known I would think this when he left. Or maybe he didn't think about what I would think. I don't think this is true, but it feels like it sometimes.

"How could you say that? I came back to that cracked up town for you! I was back in New York and then you came to see me and I moved back to Stars hollow for you."

I knew he moved back for me! I just couldn't prove it but I knew he wouldn't have come back unless he had a really good reason to and I knew it was for me when I kissed him at Sookie's wedding. He wouldn't have kissed me back if he didn't like me and I knew I was the reason he came back. But I thought he would stay. He only had to put up with the town for a couple more weeks and then he could have moved somewhere else. Preferably somewhere near Yale. Now that I'm thinking about it, though, it kind of seems silly. I mean, its Jess. He's not the move-near-your-girlfriend's-campus type. But he would have if I asked him too. Because he loved me. And if I asked him to do that now, he would. Because he still loves me. I can tell. And now it's taking me a great deal of self-control not to kiss him right now.

"I should hate you." I tell him. He sighs. "I'm supposed to hate you! Anyone else would hate you if you did to them what you did to me. But I can't bring myself to hate you. I want to hate you. I need to hate you. But all I can muster up is some pathetic anger. It's not fair!" My eyes are watering now but I wont let the tears fall. I'll fall apart if they do.

"Rory," he says calmly, "why did you say no?" I sigh.

"I was mad. You show up after a year and expected me to just drop everything and leave everything. I couldn't do that. I wanted to stay strong and I wanted you to know that I was angry." I glanced at Logan again. He's walking toward us. I try to ignore him and look back at Jess.

"So, your anger had a lot to do with your decision?" he asked me. I just nod.

"Okay, could you just forget about your anger for 5 seconds and answer me this. Do you want to be with me?"

Logan had reached us and grabbed Jess's arm. "Hey, buddy. I think it might be a good time to leave the pretty girl alone now." Jess made a fist. I was hoping I could avoid this.

"Logan, let him go." I said.

"Rory, come on. He's harassing you."

"No, he's not. Could you please just let him go?" Logan hesitated.

"Fine." He said finally.

"Thank you. Um, could you leave? Please?" Logan just looked at me.

"No." he said.

"Rory, who cares if he's there? I need to know this. Please."

I was about to lie and say no, but then I looked at him. I couldn't lie to him again. But I couldn't tell him the truth either. Not in front of Logan. So I just looked down.

I didn't have to look up to see the smile on his face. I could picture it in my head. I looked up and, sure enough, there was a nice big smile on his face. I looked over at Logan and he looked like he was about to punch Jess. Then I looked at his hands that were balled into fists and I realized that he was going to punch Jess.

"Logan, please go. I promise I'll talk to you later. Okay? Please go."

He stormed out of the food court. I think he actually stopped outside the door and is looking in but I don't know because I refuse to look at the door. Instead, I look at Jess. His beautiful smile that I have seen only a handful of times is gone. In its place is a line. A straight line that symbolizes complete seriousness.

"What do you want, Rory?" He asked me. I was confused. Didn't he just ask me this?

"What?" I said.

"If you could have anything that you wanted right now, what would it be?" my mom and I used to ask each other this all the time. But this is different. Jess doesn't mean from the world. He means from him. I think about this for a second. What do I want from him? And then I know.

"I want you to say your sorry." Now it was his turn to be confused.

"The only thing you want from me right now is an apology?" I don't know what he expected me to say, but that's what I want.

"You came back twice. You had two opportunities to say you're sorry. But you never did. The only thing you apologized for was the prom. You never said you were sorry for leaving or for not telling me anything or for the fight we had at Kyle's party. I didn't care about the stupid prom. I cared that we weren't speaking and that you were gone. So that's what I want. I want you to say you're sorry."

He nodded, like he understood. And I think he did understand. He looked me in the eye and said with the most sincerity I've ever heard him use:

"I'm sorry, Rory."

And then he turned and started to walk away. It took about three seconds for what just happened to register in my brain. He apologized. And now he was about to be gone again. I hurried up to him and grabbed his wrist and turned him around.

"Are you leaving?" I asked him.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked. I shook my head frantically. I must have looked crazy but I didn't care.

"No! Jess you can't leave! Please don't leave!" He couldn't leave. Everything's out now. He can't walk out of my life again. Not now.

"Okay, I won't." He says and I sigh, relieved.

"Okay." I say. I'm still holding his wrist. And we're really close.

"I think I'll go pick up that cigarette now." He says. But he can't go pick up his cigarette right now. Because I lost all my self-control. And because I'm kissing him right now.

And because he's kissing me back.

A/n holy crap! Dude I just finished this and I just realized that I wrote it! Im not reading thru this before I put it up im too lazy but just warning u it might not make ne sense cause I have no idea wat I wrote. I just wrote it. So if its horrible well I wasn't paying attention sooo…. Oo I was reading thru the other chaoter and in the first it says she got dressed that means she put on her pajamas that were lying on the floor not that she opened up her closet and put actual clothes on. Ok reviewer people:

**Miloroxmysox-**I really don't pay much attention when I write this so if its blunt sorry. And imagin in ur mind what the inside of one of the Gilmore girls heads is like. How do you think the talk in their head? im guessing probably like that its supposed to be like that.and thanks for the staring thing.

**Sarah-**ok u r sooo wrong! Well thanks and I loooooove u!

Thanks everyone else!


	5. Chapter 5: don't hate me

A/n shalalalalala wow im bored! Welp…heres chapter whatever chapter im on.

Chapter 5- don't hate me 

It's been so long since I've kissed Jess. It feels so good. It makes me realize how much I actually miss him. I mean, I knew I missed him a lot, but I feel like I can't let go of him because if I do he'll be gone. Then I realized something. I pulled away from him reluctantly. He looked into my eyes and saw that they were filled with water. He looked concerned. I looked away from him.

"What's wrong?" He asked me. I hate myself! You can't even fathom how much I hate myself right now. I looked back up at him and swallowed. "I have to tell you something." I said. I grabbed his hand and started dragging him out of the food court. "Hey, Paris." He said as we passed her. She still looked like she saw a ghost. I guess in a way, she sort of did.

We reached my dorm room and I pulled him inside and closed and locked the door. I told him to sit down and he did. He still looked concerned. I started pacing in front of him. I didn't know how to say this. I didn't want to say this. But I had too. I don't know why, but I feel like Jess has a right to know. He got up and grabbed my arm.

"Rory, stop. What's wrong?" Why did he get up? I told him to sit down!

"You really have to sit down." I said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it's not a good idea for you to be standing when you hear this." I told him. He let go of my arm and sat back down.

"Rory, what's wrong?" He asked for the third time. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down. It wasn't working.

"I need you to not hate me." I said.

"I could never hate you. Believe me, I tried. It's impossible." He said. I sighed.

"Trust me its possible." Jess narrowed his eyes.

"Rory, what-"

"I slept with Dean." I shut my eyes so I wouldn't see what expression would appear on his face. He didn't say anything. I opened my eyes after a minute to find him looking at me. He looked hurt, and I couldn't blame him. He wanted to be my first. _I_ wanted him to be my first. I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against the coffee table. We were quiet for so long I almost jumped when he finally said something.

"I thought Dean got married." His voice was hoarse. It made me want to cry.

"He did." Was all I said.

"When?' He asked. I shook my head.

"You don't want to know when." I said.

"You're right. I don't. But tell me anyway." I hugged my knees to my chest. Did I mention I hate myself?

"About a week after your mom's wedding." I couldn't look at him. I knew if I looked at him I'd break down. It's a miracle I've stayed together this long. I heard him stand and my head shot up. I got up and ran to the door, blocking it with my body. He sighed and walked over to me.

"Rory, move." I shook my head.

"No." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because if I move you're going to leave and I don't want you to leave." He shook his head.

"Rory-"

"No. Don't say anything. Please. And don't leave, either. Just…stay."

He sighed and walked back over to the center of the room, but instead of sitting on the couch like before, he took my spot on the floor and leaned his head back. I went over and sat down next to him.

"Why did you tell me that?" He asked me. I looked up at him, but he was looking straight. I looked back down at my knees.

"Because I wanted you to know about the biggest mistake of my life." I said.

"Why did you do it?" he asked me. That's a good question. Why did I do it?

"Because I was still so mad at you for leaving and I wanted to do something to hurt you even though I wasn't planning on telling you and Dean was there and I knew that the one thing you would hate the most would be for me to loose my virginity to Dean and I'm sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry." I finally broke down. I just started crying and I didn't think I could stop. He held me and let me cry into his shirt.

After what seemed like forever I stopped crying and looked up at him. "Jess?" he looked down at me. "I just want you to know that, more than anything, I wanted you to be my first." He didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed me.

"Do you hate me?" I asked when he pulled away.

"I'm mad. It was supposed to be me. But I can't hate you. I mean, if I hadn't left or yelled at you at the party it probably would have been me. I hate myself, but I don't hate you." He doesn't hate me?

"Really?" oh, please! Please please please!

"Really." He doesn't hate me! Yes! He was still holding onto me from when I was crying. I kissed him.

"Jess?" I asked when I pulled away. He started playing with my hair and I started playing with his fingers.

"Yeah?" I smiled at him.

"I love you, too." His face broke into the biggest smile I've ever seen on him. He pressed his lips against mine and I fell over. His kiss kind of caught me off guard. I started laughing for some reason. There wasn't even anything funny about this situation but I just started laughing and I could stop. Jess looked at me strangely, which made me laugh harder.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked. I tried to stop laughing but I couldn't.

"I…you…" I made a noise that sounded like shvew, which made me laugh even harder if that's possible. I was laughing so hard that I actually started crying. Jess picked now to start laughing himself. He flung one of his legs over my body so he was straddling me, and he was still laughing. And I was still laughing. And we lay there, laughing harder than either of us have probably ever laughed in our entire lives. He was leaning over me and his head was about half an inch away from mine. We both noticed that we were that close at the same time and stopped laughing.

"Hi." I said.

"Hi." He said. We really have to add a new word. He leaned in. Our lips were about to meet when the door to my dorm room flew open. Jess put his head down, annoyed. I looked over to the door and saw Paris, whose mouth was hanging open.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt. I'll just go." Paris said. She turned around to leave.

"No, Paris, its okay. Um, we'll go." I said. Jess rolled off me and we both stood. I grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the door. "I'm really sorry." Paris said again.

I shook my head. "It's fine." I said. I dragged Jess out the door. We sat down on a bench and I looked down.

"Rory?" Jess said. I looked up.

"What are we going to do?" I asked him. What _were_ we going to do? I wanted to be with him. He wanted to be with me. But that's not enough. There are so many other things going on right now. I have a boyfriend. He might have a girlfriend. I doubt it, but he might. And he lives in New York. Would we have a long-distance relationship? I don't want a long-distance relationship. I want a short-distance relationship. What are his thoughts about all of this?

"About what?" He asked.

"About us." He didn't say anything for a minute.

"Do you love me?" he asked. Um, this wasn't really the answer I was looking for. It's not even an answer. It's a question. Why's he doing that? Why's he answering my question with a question? I hate when people do that. Either give me a straight answer or don't answer at all.

"What?" I said. I wasn't going to say anything of that to him, especially since the answer to his question/answer was yes.

"Do you love me?" He repeated.

"Yes…" What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to lie? I didn't want to lie to him. And even if I did lie he'd know it was a lie because I just kissed him and told him that I wanted him to be my first. I looked down. We were quiet for about three minutes. Then Jess made a quiet announcement.

"I'm moving back." He said. I stared at him, shocked.

"You're what?" He couldn't be serious, could he?

"I'm moving back." He said again, but louder this time.

"Jess, you can't move back. You hate Stars Hollow." I said. I couldn't let him move back to a town he hates just so we could be together. He wouldn't be happy.

"Yeah, but I want to be with you. And if moving back to that town is the only way that'll happen, then that's what I'm going to do." He's serious! He's going to move back for me! This is enough to make me want to cry. In a good way.

"Where would you live?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Luke'll probably let me stay in the apartment above the diner 'til I find a place. He says he doesn't spend that much time there anymore, anyway."

"What will you do?" I asked.

"I work for this publishing company but I'll work something out." Wait, where does he work?

"You work for a publishing company?" I asked. He looked down, embarrassed.

"Yeah." Oh, my God. Jess, my Jess, works for a publishing company. I can't believe it.

"Wow! Jess, I'm so proud of you!" I flung my arms around him. He really has changed. I pulled away from him.

"I have to go talk to Logan." I said. Jess nodded.

"I'm going to head back to New York. I have to talk to my boss. I'll be in Stars Hollow tomorrow." I smiled and kissed him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"See you tomorrow."

A/n okay I seriously don't like this chapter. O well. Too bad for me.

**Spinaround-** I actually watched that episode right before I read ur review and I was like o crap I put tho goo goo dolls instead of the go gos. Thanks for telling me. and thanks for ur review.

**Sarah-**haha u should really start paying attention when ur babysitting. Lol thanks.

Thank you everyone else who reviewed and do it again pplease!


	6. Chapter 6: Two heartless people

Chapter 6-Two heartless people 

"I can't do this!" I said as I flung the phone onto my bed. Paris sighed.

"Did he answer?" she asked me.

"Yes." I said. She shook her head at me.

"Rory, its not that hard. You call him, tell him its over, and hang up. See, simple!" I glared at her.

"I can't break up with him over the phone! That's mean!" she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, and cheating on him wasn't mean at all." Gee, thanks Paris.

"Okay, yes, that was mean. But that's why I can't break up with him over the phone. I mean, the least I could do is let him down in person."

"Trust me, it'd be so much better if you break up with him over the phone. That way you don't have to watch his reaction." Okay, cruel! Poor Jamie.

"Paris, I'm not breaking up with him over the phone!" she shrugged. She really is heartless.

"Suit yourself." She said before walking out of my room. What a great help she was. I took a deep breath before picking up the phone and dialing his number again.

"He better be gone." he said. Wow, he sure knows how to greet people.

"Why, hello Logan. How nice of you to answer your phone in such a polite manner."

"Rory." He warned. I hate when he does that. Actually, now that I think about, a lot of the things he does bug me. I don't think I'm going to miss him all that much.

"We need to talk." Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have said that exact phrase. But at least now he has a little warning.

"I don't like the sound of that." I sighed.

"Can you just meet me by the coffee cart in, like, ten minutes?" I asked. I just want to get this over with.

"Fine!" he huffed before hanging up. I grabbed my coat and walked out of my dorm.

-----------------------

"I'm breaking up with you." This is the first thing that Logan said to me when I got to the coffee cart. I didn't even make it to the cart, actually. I was about a yard away when he saw me and walked over looking all put out. I stared at him. He's obviously never broken up with someone before.

"Are you kidding me?" Jerk! You don't break up with someone just because you know they're going to break up with you.

" You're the one who was going to break up with me. I decided to beat you to it." I stared at him. He has to be joking.

"Logan…" I started, but then I got really angry.

"You can't do that! That's not how it works. You're going to break up with me so you won't have to be embarrassed that you're the one who got dumped. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm the one who's going to break up with you. So…bye Logan. Have a great life." I turned on my heel and stormed back to my dorm.

I grabbed a bag when I got back and started shoving clothes into it. I can't believe he was going to do that! You know what? I'm not going to miss him at all. I'm glad we're not together anymore. I mean, he's such a jerk! I can't believe I've never noticed it before. I shook my head as a grabbed my black converse shoes and stuffed them in my bag.

"Damn Logan." I said before heading out the door.

-----------------------

"Mom!" I yelled when I got home. I hadn't even thought about how my mom would react to all of this until I pulled up in the driveway. She's not going to like this. Not one bit will she like this.

"Mom!" I yelled again.

"Kitchen!" I heard her yell. I put my bag by the closet and took my coat off. I walked into the kitchen to find my mom sitting at the table with about 4 cookbooks in front of her. I rolled my eyes.

"You know, you have Luke for all that stuff now. You don't have to risk burning the house down." I told her. She looked up and smiled.

"Ah, but what is life without risks?" she asked.

"Far less complicated." I replied.

"But complications and risks are what make life exciting. Where would we be without those two things?" I sighed.

"Not where I am." I said. She looked at me strangely.

"Hey, weren't you just here a few hours ago?" she asked me. I nodded.

"What are you doing back here then?" She's going to freak out! She's going to absolutely hate this. What am I supposed to tell her?

"I just thought I would come down for a few days." I said. Well, it's the truth. Sort of.

"A few days? Don't you have classes?" she asked. To be honest, I hadn't thought about that. I missed all my classes today. But its not like I'll get killed if I miss two days of school. I'll go back tomorrow night.

"Well, yeah. But I have to take tomorrow off. Personal day." She raised her eyebrows.

"Personal day? Why do you need a personal day?" okay, how should I start this? Should I just jump right in and say Logan and I broke up and jess and I are back together? Or would that be too blunt? Maybe I'll start from the beginning.

"Well, I've been having dreams lately…" she gasped.

"You mean you haven't been having dreams before?" ugh mom please!

"Mom!"

"Okay, okay sorry. So you've been having dreams lately…" I nodded.

"Yeah, um, about…Jess." she froze. I'm not kidding. She actually stopped moving. It's not that big a deal. Well, that part isn't, anyway.

"You've been having dreams about Jess? Why have you been having dreams about Jess? You're over him." I sighed.

"I never said I was over him." her eyes widened.

"Wait! Are you telling me you're not over him?" she asked. I nodded.

"That's basically what I'm getting at." She let out a breath.

"Wow, um, okay. Uh, how not over him are you?"

"What?"

"How do you feel about him?" I couldn't keep a small smile off my face.

"Do you really want an answer to that question?" she hesitated before taking a deep breath and nodding.

"Yes."

"I'm in love with him." my smile grew bigger when I said this. My mom looked…well, she looked a lot of things. Mainly, she looked confused.

"Hun, are you sure? I mean, you haven't seen him since he told you he loved you." Since he told me he loved me? Oh, yeah. I didn't tell my mom that he asked me to come away with him. Why didn't I tell her? I can't for the life of me remember. Well, I might as well tell her now.

"Um, actually, I saw him after his mom's wedding." Now she looked even more confused.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" she asked. I took a deep breath.

"He came to my dorm." Her eyes widened again.

"He came to your dorm?"

"Yeah. He, um…he asked me to run away with him." her jaw dropped. She was totally shocked. And I don't really blame her. I mean, jess isn't the kind of guy who asks girls to run away with him. He doesn't just do things like that. So its kind of understandable that my moms chin is now touching the tabletop.

"He asked you to run away with him? Oh my God! What did you say?" I rolled my eyes.

"What do you think I said?"

"Um…-

"Mom!"

"Okay, jeez! So you said no and now you're having dreams about him and you're in love with him?"

"No. The dreams just started but I've been in love with him for awhile."

"How long's awhile?" I looked down. I haven't told anyone this, not even Lane.

"Um, since we started dating 3 years ago." I heard a large intake of breath and looked up. Her hand was covering her mouth.

"Rory, how come I didn't know this?" she asked me. I shrugged.

"Well, Rory, this isn't good! You're in love with a guy who lives God only knows where and is totally undependable."

"He's moving back to Stars Hollow tomorrow." Her eyes boggled.

"He's what?"

"Moving back to Stars Hollow tomorrow." Her jaw dropped again.

"How do you know this?"

"He told me." She blinked.

"What? When did he tell you that?"

"Um, about an hour and a half ago." Her eyes widened.

"You saw him an hour and a half ago? Rory, you really have to fill me in here." I sighed.

"Okay, remember today when I brought you that go gos record?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Well, I got it in New York. That's where I went when I left Logan in the middle of the night." Her eyes got wider.

"Rory! You left your boyfriend in the middle of the night to go to New York? Why would you do that?" I bit my lip.

"Because I had a dream about Jess last night and it was the fourth time I dreamt about him so I wanted to go to New York to, well…"

"What? To what?"

"To sort of relive the day I went to New York to see him. Relive it in my mind, I mean." She looked confused.

"When you went to new York to see him?"

"Yeah, remember? I missed your graduation." She remembered and she glared at me.

"Oh, yeah," she said bitterly, "well, go on."

"Okay. So I went to Washington Square Park because that's where I found him 4 years ago. But he was there so he couldn't stay."

"Okay…" she was trying to follow. She was probably really confused.

"So I started to leave but then I saw the record store and was going to go in to get you your record but he found me. I don't really know how but somehow we ended up going into the record store together." She squinted one eye, still trying to follow.

"Uh huh…"

"So when I got back to my dorm after coming here, he was there. So we started fighting publicly and, Long story short, I broke up with Logan and Jess and I are back together." Her jaw dropped yet again.

"You and Jess are back together?" I nodded.

"I…um…you… um, you know what I'll keep my comments to myself." I smiled.

"Thank you."

"But you-"

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about this right now. Later, please?" she sighed.

"Fine. But, are you happy?" I smiled.

"Yes. I'm very happy."

"Well, then, I'm happy too." We smiled at each other and went into the living room to pick out a movie.

A/n OH MY GOD! Ok has ne one seen the previews for the new episodes of Gilmore girls? Rory and jess are gonna kiss! Well, it didn't actually show them kissing but jess leaned in and they sutit of when he was about an inch away from her face. I probably just ruined the surprise for a lot of peole and sorry about that but who knows. I might be wrong. I hope im not tho. Well I stopped her cause I felt like it. I have no idea what im gonna de next for this. suggestions are welcome.

**Sarah-** hehe amalene! I love that! its so pretty! Well, try not to get your thing cut off again.

Please review!


	7. Chapter 7: the end

A/n I'm soooooooo incredibly sorry I haven't updated in so long! I just had no desire to. And plus I was graduating so I was concentrated on that… but now I'm updating. This may be the last chapter… I don't know. We'll see at the end of this. But I'm just so done with this one. So I hope u guys enjoy this. And the point of view for the beginning of this chapter will be third person, but it'll go back to rory's.

CHAPTER 7- THE END 

Jess walked into the diner, duffle bag in hand. Not surprisingly, the whole diner fell silent. Luke looked up from the counter and smiled.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming. Was I supposed to know you were coming?" he asked, walking around the counter and giving Jess a "manly" hug. Jess stepped back and shook his head.

"Nope, just thought I'd stop in, say hi to my favorite uncle, maybe stay for a couple weeks." He said. Luke nodded.

"Sure, sure. Stay as long as- wait, did you say weeks?" he asked. Jess nodded and headed towards the stairs.

"Jess!" Luke said. Jess turned around and looked at his uncle.

"We'll talk upstairs. Its good, I promise." He said before turning around again and going upstairs. Luke sighed and followed Jess upstairs.

"Okay, what's going on?" Luke asked when he got upstairs. Jess smiled and Luke rolled his eyes.

"It has to do with Rory, doesn't it?" Jess nodded and sat down at the table.

"Jess…"

"Luke, just listen, okay?" Luke sighed and sat down across from Jess.

"Okay."

"Okay, I'm moving back. For good. And before you say anything, I still have my job. I got transferred."

"You got transferred?" Luke asked, confused.

"Yep." Jess said.

"Why?" Luke asked.

"Because I want to be near my girlfriend." Jess answered. Luke narrowed his eyes.

"You have a girlfriend? I thought this was about Rory." Jess shook his head and looked at his uncle.

"This is about Rory. Rory's my girlfriend." He said. Luke's eyes widened.

"What?" Jess rolled his eyes.

"Rory. Is. My. Girlfriend." He said slowly. Luke glared at him.

"But… I thought she had a boyfriend."

"She dumped him." Jess said.

"For you?" Luke asked.

"Yep." Jess said triumphantly. Luke smiled.

"Wow jess, this is great! I'm happy for you!"

"Thanks. And I only need to stay with you for a little while. Until I find a place." Jess said. Luke waved a hand.

"Stay as long as you want. I'm never here anyway." He said. Jess smirked at how happy Luke was about this news.

"Thanks Luke." He said. But then Luke's face suddenly got stern.

"Jess-"

"I'm not going to hurt her. Trust me. I won't make the same mistake twice." Jess said. Luke looked at him.

"Okay." He said. They looked at each other for a long time before Luke finally got up.

"I should get back to the diner." He said. Jess stood up too.

"I'll help out, if you need me too." He said. Luke grinned.

"Sure. Thanks Jess."

"No problem."

--------------

"Oh my god!" I yelled, sitting up straight.

"Hey, I tried pinching you, but you wouldn't even budge. This was the only thing I could think of to wake you up." I glared at my mom.

"You do realize that you just ruined our couch, right?" I asked her. She shrugged.

"It'll dry. Now c'mon. I need coffee." She said, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me up. I shook my head and took my arm back.

"You poured a cup of water on me, you lost your chance to have coffee with your daughter." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. She rolled her eyes.

"It's eleven o'clock. Jess is probably there by now." She said. My eyes widened and I got off the couch.

"Fine, I'll come with you. But don't think I'm not going to get you back, missy. Because I will!" I said before heading into my room.

"You can try." She yelled after me. I shook my head.

Fifteen minutes later we were outside of Luke's. I was about to reach for the door when my mom grabbed my arm. I turned to her.

"What?" I asked. She was looking at me in a really weird way and I _really_ wanted her to stop.

"What's gonna happen when we step through that door?" she asked. I was confused. What was she talking about?

"Um, we're going to sit down and get coffee…?" I said, but she shook her head.

"No. Your whole life is going to change." She said. I blinked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She sighed.

"Rory, you and Jess are back together. You're in love with each other. After 2 years of being apart, you're still in love with each other. This isn't going to be just a regular committed relationship. This is going to be a super committed relationship. You guys have been in love for so long, and I really don't think anything's going to change that." She said. I smiled.

"Well, I hope not." I said. But she shook her head again.

"Rory, you don't get it. You two were apart for two years, and you're still in love. You dated two other guys while you and Jess were apart, and you're still in love with him. What if he asks you to marry him?" she said. My eyes widened.

"Whoa, mom, I haven't thought that far ahead yet." I said.

"Well, I have. And I don't want to lose you to Jess." She said. I was completely taken aback by this.

"Mom you're not going to lose me. No guy will ever cause you to lose me. You're my mom." I said, but she looked unconvinced.

"If you and Jess get married, or even just move in together- don't look at me like that, it's going to happen and you know it- you're going to be busy with him and you and I won't be a you and I anymore." She said. I crossed my arms over my chest. She's being paranoid. How can she think she'd lose me to a guy?

"I won't let that happen. We'll always be a you and I. No matter what. You'll always be number one in my life." I told her. She still didn't look reassured, but she sighed and said, "Promise?" I smiled.

"Promise."

I gave her a hug that hopefully showed that I needed her in my life, and that she's still my best friend.

"Can we go get some coffee now?" I asked her, pulling away. She smiled.

"Yes, we can get coffee now." She said. I smiled back at her and opened the diner door. Jess and Luke were behind the counter, pretending to look at the toaster that apparently broke yesterday. They're trying to act like they weren't watching us. But I know they were. We walked up to them, and they turned around.

"Hey." Luke said, giving mom a small kiss. Then he turned to me.

"Hey Rory." He said, smiling. He knows. I glanced at Jess for a second before responding.

"Hey Luke."

I looked back at Jess but didn't say anything. What if mom was right? What if everything was going to change now? Jess and I are kind of in a unique situation. We pretty much let each other know that we're the only one for each other. That means we probably will move in together, and we probably will get married. Because neither of us can imagine actually marrying someone else.

Well, I'm not going to think about that now. That's the future. And right now I'm all about the present.

"Hey." Jess said to me. He smiled, and I smiled back.

"Hey." I said. Yeah, I'll put the future on the back burner. We'll figure it out some other time. I didn't need to know right now. All I needed right now was for Jess to keep looking at me the way he's looking at me. That's enough for now.

A/N okay DONE! I'm very happy! This actually was not the direction I wanted to go with this, but this is where it went. Well… sorry I ended it in such a bad way, but if I didn't already make it clear, I really wanted to finish this story. I'm just so over it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

**Sarah-** haha I liked that book! But hey, I finally finished this! Next I'm gonna update not so innocent, then LOSING MY GRIP. To make u happy. Then I'm gonna do the sequel to cousin candy! Which I cant wait to start. And ohh yeah, on a side not, I MISS YOU!

**Lexylovinmilo-** well I'm sure by now u know what happened, but In case u don't, rory went to see jess in new york and they kissed and then she told him that she was in love with logan. So I'm very upset! Oh, and they broke up in real life, which makes me even madder! Well, thanks for ur review


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